"An unused life is an early death."

“An unused life is an early death. “

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

So, it has been about a month since I posted anything at all on the blog, and life has been pretty busy.  SC has switched to "beginner 1" gymnastics from the preschool level, which is in the evening instead of the mornings.  She is the youngest in the class, which was great in the beginning, but she has made a friend and they frequently get in trouble for being silly.  SC likes to do "cannon balls" into the foam pit instead of whatever cartwheel/round-off move she is supposed to be doing, or will purposely flop onto the ground instead of landing a move in the proper manner.  It has been difficult.  

SC has also started soccer and has practice on another evening.  They have played two games, and though they don't keep score, her team has lost pretty bad each time.  In fact, the first game they lost 20-0.  After talking with some parents from the other team, we discovered that most of those girls had "been together for 3 seasons" already.  We were shocked, as all the girls on our team are only four, and this is the under-5 league.  Our coach did some digging and found out that apparently the league combined the under-5 and under-6 teams because there were not enough, and by luck of the draw, we got put in with the older group.  So, it will be an interesting season, but hopefully playing against the older girls will help our girls figure things out quickly and benefit them in the long run.

 AC has been traveling still, and has spent most of the weekends this past month in Los Angeles.  The one weekend he was home he worked overnight on a project on Saturday, and then we had to travel to Kansas Sunday afternoon to attend his grandfather's funeral.  Grandpa T was 90 years old, a farmer and carpenter, and led an amazing life.  His beautiful wife is still living, and though it was a sad time, it was also a great time of love and family.

As for homeschool, I have discovered we are fairly unstructured and fit well into the "unschooling" category.  We are definitely SC-led, and as things pop up that interest to her, we follow that path.  However, we do try to stick with working on general math, handwriting and phonics skills daily.  

We very recently abandoned Math-U-See because SC was not interested in any way in using the manipulative blocks, and simply wanted to do the sheets.  She has been playing a few math games on the iPad and her addition and subtraction skills have really taken off.  After reading some reviews, we have opted to start Singapore Primary Mathematics Level 1 to see if it is more her style.  I think we will be able to complete all of Level 1A and 1B before next fall, starting level 2 for her official "kindergarten" year.  We are also going to try out Life of Fred, as I have heard great things about it as well, though I am hoping I can check it out in person when I go to the Homeschool Book Fair this May.

We are still slowly working our way through the BOB Books collection 1, though I am pretty sure SC can read more than we have completed.  However, we let her read these at bedtime, and frequently bedtime is one of our most difficult times of day, and SC ends up going to bed without any reward books, including getting to read to us.  However, we work on Explode the Code phonics and A Reason for Spelling during the day.  Explode the Code requires a lot of writing, so we are moving slowly through it.  However, SC's handwriting is getting very readable.  She can correctly write all of her letters, both upper and lower cases, with only a few occasional "oops" (like switching lower-case b and d).

For both science and history, as mentioned above, we have taken a more "unschooling" approach.  I keep reminding myself that SC is not yet even 5 years old, so it is okay that we are still only on week 3 of History Odyssey, but we have had tons of opportunities to talk about more "social studies" type lessons, as well as learning about other cultures as AC travels.  We have also gone to see mummies, which was awesome, and joined the new Perot Museum, which is also awesome.  Though I really like the Apologia Exploring Creation with Astronomy, it was just too much for SC at this age.  We never even made it to the first lab.  She definitely understands many of the concepts, but all the activities are really geared toward a child that is already writing and creating written work on their own, even if simple.

SC's favorite part of homeschool (aside from math) has become reading the Bible.  We have been using Bible Study Guide for All Ages, and I found an awesome coloring book that has multiple scenes of almost every story in the Bible, which she colors on her own as I am actually reading.  It has really helped her to focus.  

This past week, of course, we have been talking a lot about Jesus, Easter, how sad His death is, but how glorious it is that His death paid the price of our salvation.  We sent our sponsored child, Oneydi, a letter specifically about Easter this week (which I realize will probably not arrive until after Easter).  We wrote about who Jesus was, and what Easter means for us as sinners.  We also talked about some of the things we do traditionally for celebrating Easter, like decorating eggs, and the significance of that.  I found these awesome "paint with water" books (similar to these, but Easter themed) that I took apart and sent along.  All that is required is a brush/q-tip and water  -- the paint is included on the paper.  SC actually uses these all the time.  They satisfy her need to paint almost daily, but with much less mess than traditional watercolors or acrylic paints.  We also sent Easter stickers, and I took apart The Very First Easter from the Beginner's Bible series (my first attempt at sending a book).  Finally, we sent an Easter card to Oneydi, as well as one to her family.

So, we are going to keep plugging along in our chaos, enjoying each other, spending some time doing structured school, spending quite a bit of time learning in life, and just living.  We are all traveling to Los Angeles to visit family and have the first real vacation in probably two years (though AC is going to be working Saturday night still) over Easter weekend.  SC is very excited to go to the beach, go to Disneyland, and see our family.  AC and I will be traveling to London together for a work trip of his, and I am super excited to be spending some time alone in this amazing city, seeing the sights, while AC works, and then getting to spend the evenings with him.  And, we shall see what else God sends our way this year.

Though this is more of a monthly wrap-up, check out how some other blogger's weeks have gone here:

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Thankful Thursday: "Help your brother's boat across ..."

"Help your brother's boat across,

and your own will reach the shore."

Hindu proverb

This week for Thankful Thursday, I am thankful for my younger brother, JH.  Today is his birthday, and though he is far away in Minnesota, working with his band Heliosaga on their first studio album, I hope he knows that I love him and am celebrating his life from Texas.  

We were good friends growing up, and rarely fought.  I wish we were still as close as we were as kids, but our lives changed quickly when I got to high school.  We each had time-consuming things that took most of our focus.  By the time JH got to high school, I had just graduated and was going on to college.  Even though I lived at home for the first two years of college, I worked a lot, I spent time out with friends and trying to keep up with school, and then I met AC when I was 18.  JH graduated and moved to Austin for college, then I got married, then we had SC, and all of a sudden JH and I were strangers.  It is amazing how quickly things change and two people can grow apart as their lives take different paths.  

So, today, on JH's birthday, I want to focus on him and the difficult life he is choosing as a musician (and rather excelling at, in my opinion).  Happy birthday, brother, and I am praying that you find success in the choices you make, and peace and love in the music you make.

If you are interested in hearing some of Heliosaga's music, they recently released their first single, "Light of Ardor," to youtube.  

By the way, my brother plays the bass.

Check out more Thankful Thursday posts here:

"As parents, our task is ..."

"As parents, our task is to discover who our child is 

and help the child find his own profession."

pg. 81, Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnosis of Gifted Children and Adults, 

James T. Webb, et al

Admitting your child might be different, be it learning disabled or gifted, is difficult.  With programs like "No Child Left Behind," however, it has become much more acceptable to have a learning disabled child, and those who are intellectually or creatively gifted are seen as "weird" or "freaks."  Oftentimes parents are blamed for making their children the way they are by allowing them access to knowledge and learning at a young age.  A parent can no more make their child gifted by beginning to teach them at an early age than another parent can make their child disabled by not teaching them young.  In fact, it may be hard to believe, but most parents do not wish any differences upon their children at all, because our society sees differences of any kind (other than talent in sports) as a disadvantage.  There may be pressure, on both the child and the parents, to make the child conform to what society sees as "normal," be it through discipline, therapy or medication.  Webb, et al. states that "the attempt to give gifted children a 'normal' life and a 'normal' upbringing is like trying to make a giraffe act more like a horse -- an experience that is painful for all involved" (pg. 64).  Yet it is these differences, an integral part of who your child is, that may make up some of the more unique aspects of his or her personality.  If your child is not different in the same way that mine is, no offense is meant if/when I make generalizations or comments about groups of children.  If you have a child who is different from "normal," however he or she may be different, know that there are others out there who understand.  I hope my speaking out about the struggles we have parenting SC gives you confidence to do the same.

After one horrific piano lesson in early December 2012, I called SC's pediatrician in tears and made an appointment for an "11:30 consultation."  SC had just spent the entire lesson rolling around on the floor under the piano, jumping unrhythmically on purpose off the beats, answering questions about letters incorrectly (also on purpose), and just generally refusing to follow any of the teacher's instructions.  It may seem that she was just acting like a typical four-year-old, but the problem was she was capable of playing the piece the teacher had asked her to play.  In fact, when she finally played it (for the first time ever, after seeing the teacher play it only once, at the end of the lesson), she played it perfectly, with no mistakes.  

See, we had just moved her to private lessons, at the request of her former teacher, due to her impatience at waiting for the other children in her group lesson to catch up.  She caught on to everything her teacher had been doing so quickly, she was bored while the other kids tried to learn, and her previous teacher thought it might be a good idea if the entire lesson was focused on her.  In fact, this was a pattern that was becoming all too apparent, with piano lessons being the latest request to move SC from group lessons to private, because she understood things very quickly, and then would become bored (and inattentive, disobedient, destructive, out-of-control) while she waited for the other kids to "catch up" to where she was.

So, we made this appointment with her pediatrician, and he asked a series of questions.  We tried to give our observations, but it is hard to fit four and a half years of life with SC into a thirty minute consultation.  He said she sounded bright, but he also said he thought she had ADHD.  He then gave us  a checklist to fill out and one for each of her teachers, as well as a pamphlet about ADHD, and he said that the AAP recommends both occupational therapy/intervention plans as well as medication, and that doing both showed the best results with many patients.  

After making a follow-up for one month hence, we left the appointment dumbstruck.  ADHD was something that we had heard about, but we were not expecting him to say was SC's problem.  In fact, what we were hoping was that he would say she is not that different from all other kids her age, and maybe she is just more easily bored than others, and here is the solution to this problem.  In fact, I know I was looking for a magic answer.  A book of twelve steps to follow or a list of if...then statements that we matched up to her behaviors that made her more manageable   Instead, we left with the idea that our child might need to be medicated for the rest of her life in order to "fit in" to the acceptable social norms.  Now, I am not against all medication, and I believe that there are truly children that need to be on medication for their differences, but I also believe that parents should not swap one set of problems (the ADHD-like symptoms) for another set of problems (the side effects) that just so happen to be socially acceptable just because things are hard.  So, I did what I always do when I am faced with a problem - I started reading.

In August, I listed some books that I wanted to read as we attempt to decide which path would be the best educational path for SC, some of them about gifted children because it had been mentioned to us that SC seems to do things developmentally quicker than other children.  I thought it would be a good idea to include them, to see if they had any hints that might make our decision easier.  While  I have read some of these books in part, life tends to get in the way of our plans, and I have yet to completely finish any but the first two on the list, which are really long essays rather than books.  

However, as I attempted these past weeks to get back on track to learning about SC, I found a book called Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnoses of Gifted Children and Adults by the author of of one of the gifted books already on my list.  This caught my eye because I had just spent over an hour with SC's preschool teacher, discussing her behavior in class, and that her teacher feels she does not have ADHD (she has been trained to recognize it, as well as gifted students through her teaching degree program and years in the public school system) but that she is even more highly advanced/gifted than we all initially thought.  She said that she believes the behavior problems are a combination of boredom and SC's emotional development still being at four years old, right where her peers are.

The authors of Misdiagnosis suggest that "as many as half of gifted children with the diagnosis of ADD/ADHD do not have the significant impairments due to attention or hyperactivity that are required ... to make an ADD/ADHD diagnosis" (pg. 37).  The problem is that many of the characteristics of children with ADHD actually can also be seen in gifted children, but the difference in the symptoms is only evident when someone asks the question "why" - why are they behaving the way they are.  For example, both a child with ADHD and a gifted child may not follow directions well, but a child with ADHD actually has trouble following them (and all rules/directions), while a gifted child is choosing not to follow certain ones after questioning their legitimacy.  Both children with ADHD and gifted children may seem unable to concentrate on tasks, but a child with ADHD has trouble focusing on all tasks that do not have immediate consequences, while a gifted child chooses not to focus on tasks they deem irrelevant or uninteresting.  It is very important to ask why a child is doing (or not doing) they thing that is causing the problem.  With SC, we already knew that the why of the behaviors was a convoluted explanation and a conscious choice on her part.  However, Misdiagnosis (and the resources I found at SENG) has opened up the possibility that this is because she is gifted rather than something needs to be "fixed."  Apparently, this is normal (for her).  

One of the solutions that the book offers to behavior problems is that "changing the environment can effectively treat many conditions" (pg. xxxiii).  The theory is that "many of these disorders [as diagnosed in gifted children] are the result of the interaction between temperament and environment" (pg. xxxiii), which is very much what SC's preschool teacher suggested.  In the preschool classroom, she has started pulling SC out for higher level work, like beginning addition, more advanced reading/phonics work.  She suggested that when we are working on homeschooling, that instead of seeing SC's desire to turn her handwriting letters into aliens or bugs as not following directions, to view them as her being creative because she is bored.  So, we cut down the handwriting to a more manageable "if you do this one line well, you can skip the next two," and it has really worked.  I get a focused, well written line of letters and she moves through it without feeling overwhelmed and bored.  We got a timer that we set for twenty minutes (that she loves to set and look at) before we start each new activity, and that has motivated her to work quickly.  If she isn't done by that time, we move on to something else and either come back to the first activity or, if her work so far was exceptional and it was clear she was bored, we don't.  We replaced her chair with an exercise ball that has kept her from bouncing all over the place (pun intended) as she tried to work on activities that require writing, be it phonics, math or handwriting.  

We have also headed in a more "unschooling" direction that is SC focused and led by her interests because, at the moment, we can do that.  She is still only four and a half years old, and she deserves play time.  I completely cut out science and French (other than videos or iPad games) and we will just wait until next year, and I am okay with that.  We took a trip to see mummies even though it cut out half of a week.  Some days we only do math, and some days we do everything.  Some days she wants to do art four times and that is okay, because then when we do get to things like phonics or handwriting, she is more interested in it and it does not feel like I am forcing her into it.

Misdiagnosis has opened up my eyes to the idea that SC is in the profoundly gifted category of children, and while that is nice to hear, it is also quite scary.  I like to joke that she is smarter than both AC and I, but it looks like it is true.  So the question becomes, what now?  Well, we went back to our pediatrician, armed with copies of resources, documentation from her preschool teacher, and ready to hear the worst - that we were "wishing" our child was gifted, but that he still felt we should try to put her on medication "just to see."  In reality, he diligently listened to our information, agreed that it is possible she fits into the profoundly gifted category of students, though she may have ADHD too.  However, his response this time was that "time will tell," and I am okay with that.  Through this brief, yet intense process, I have learned that time is the only thing that will give me an answer.  We will have to see if SC's emotional maturity levels out, or if she continues to struggle.  We talked about having her IQ tested, but he said at this point, it would just be for our own, personal reference, and to wait to spend the money if we need it for a school in the future.  Right now, we are comfortable with our decision for next year, to continue with the Mothers' Day Out's kindergarten program two days a week and do supplemental homeschooling the other three days.  We are lucky that the State of Texas does not require kindergarten and we will get another trial year before the decision seems real.  AC and I are still unsure about our long-term plans, but we may never be able to make a long-term decision with SC.  It may always be trial and error, see what will be best for her "now," and as much as I like to plan, I am okay with that.

*For anyone else who has a child who seems "ADHD" but also is displaying signs of giftedness, whether it is intellectual or talents, I would highly suggest reading the book Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnoses of Gifted Children and Adults by James T. Webb, Ph.D., et al., as well as checking out SENG (Supporting the Emotional Needs of the Gifted), which also has quite a few resources specifically about the ADHD vs. gifted child dilemma. 

**This post contains affiliate links.  Please read my disclosure statement. 

Top Ten Tuesday: "...the letter once written remains."

The voice once heard perishes, 

[but] the letter once written remains.

Roman proverb

The past few weeks have been busy for us (as evidenced by the lack of posting on the blog), with AC coming and going from town, and SC and I just trying to keep up.  

One of the things we worked on last week was our second letter to Oneydi, the little girl we sponsor through Compassion International.  As I prepared to blog about what we sent and wrote in our second letter, I realized that I failed to mention anything about our first letter, so this week my Top Ten Tuesday is a conglomeration of our first two letters to Oneydi.

1. Handwritten letters & handwritten translations: I mentioned before that we chose Oneydi because her birthday is only two days after SC's, and I thought it would be neat for SC to dictate (mostly) the letters to me to send.  Of course, SC thought this was a great idea, so both of the letters were "written" by SC and I just did the physical writing.  I also decided to use my limited (four years in high school) Spanish to translate the letters myself, because I really wanted Oneydi and her family to see that we are investing in them.  I know that they will probably still go through a translator at Compassion, but I wanted them to have a hand-written translation as well.

2. Photos: We sent both a picture of our entire family, as well as a picture of just SC.  I hope to send updated pictures every six months of SC, because she grows and changes so much.

3. Artwork/pictures:  SC made what she calls "cards" for Oneydi that she stamped, drew, decorated, glittered and doodled on, including writing both her own and Oneydi's names.

4. Map:  We sent a map of North and Central America, circling the USA, and coloring in El Salvador and Texas, so that Oneydi would be able to see where we are located in proximity to her.  SC has an identical map that she has put up on her mirror in her bedroom, along with a picture of Oneydi.

5. Stickers: What little girl doesn't just love stickers?  SC picks out the ones she thinks Oneydi might like the best, and for the first letter we sent monkeys and butterflies, and in the second letter we sent zoo animals and hearts.

6. Flash cards:  We found some bilingual flash cards at Target that have both the English and Spanish on one side and a simple image on the other.  Since Oneydi is still young and probably not reading yet, I hope that these flash cards can be utilized by either the workers at the Compassion Center or even by her parents.  I know they do not have a "preschool" program for her to go to, so I hope I can send a few things that might supplement that.

7. Alphabet worksheets:  Along with the flashcards to help Oneydi learn to read, we sent pages torn from a "Brainquest" workbook that focus on letters.  I send the letters "A" through "E," and will continue sending through the rest of the alphabet in chunks.

8. Dot-to-Dot sheets: These are both follow-the-number and follow-the-letter sheets that create images, which Oneydi can color.

9. Color by number/letter: Again, more fun activities to help her learn her numbers and letters.

10. Mazes: These are simple mazes that will help her with fine motor skills like writing, as well as (as they get more difficult) logical thinking.

Of course, I have to assume that Oneydi has access to things like pens, pencils, markers, crayons, etc.  I really wish we were able to send some along, though I do understand why they are not allowed.  I also have to assume that the worksheets in English are easy enough for someone who may only speak Spanish to figure out.  I may have to see if I can find some activity books that are in Spanish.

Also, I found a bilingual book of Mother Goose nursery rhymes that I am going to attempt to send next time.  I am hesitant to tear a book up, but apparently the only way to send them is completely deconstructed.  

Do you sponsor a child through Compassion International or another group?  If so, what kinds of things do you send to your children?  Leave a comment, then check out other Top Ten Tuesday posts here:

Top Ten Tuesday: "Books and movies are like apples and oranges."

"Books and movies are like apples and oranges. 

They both are fruit, but taste completely different."

Stephen King

This week for my Top Ten Tuesday, I am going to focus on ten movies that are coming out in the nearish future that were based on books that I either want to read or have already read.  

Typically, I generally prefer the book to the movie, and there are some movies that I have had a really hard time reconciling the choices the movie-makers made with the way the book has "played out" in my head as I read it.  For example, I struggled with the first few Harry Potter movies because I imagined things happening in a much less cheesy way than they did on screen.  In fact, after the second movie came out I gave up on them all until recently, when I both reread all seven books, and then viewed all seven films consecutively.  

So, here are ten books-to-movies that are coming up soon that I want to see (and a couple that are already out), and hopefully read (if I haven't already) before I see the film.  I have also included release dates for the films as they were available on the interwebs.

1. Warm Bodies (February 1, 2013): Based on the book by Issac Marion, this is a book I had not heard of until I saw the rather amusing trailer for the film.  It is about a zombie who falls in love with a live girl, and while it is not in my normal reading/viewing bag, it looks interesting and different enough from many of the zombie/monster stories that have been permeating our recent culture. 



2. Beautiful Creatures (February 13, 2013): Another film based on a fantasy novel (the first in a series by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl), this is the story of two teens with special powers and their effort to uncover secrets about their respective families and the small southern town they live in.

3. The Reluctant Fundamentalist (April 24, 2013): This is a book that has been on my to-read list for a while, and is about two Princeton graduates, an American woman and a Pakistani man, and their struggles in the aftermath of 9/11.  It is by Mohsin Hamad, and was shortlisted for the 2007 Booker Prize.

4. The Great Gatsby (May 10, 2013): I just finished reading this book, and while I enjoyed it, I did not feel like it really was life changing.  That being said, I am interested to see how Baz Luhrmann interprets it in the film.  This is the story of the narrator Nick Carraway and his observations of the relationships that go on around him, specifically as they have to do with his mysterious neighbor Jay Gatsby.

5. The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (August 23, 2013): This is another fantasy novel that begins a series, by Cassandra Clare, and though I have read the first two books in  a semi-related series (The Infernal Devices), I have not read this yet.  This novel is the story of a girl, Clary, who encounters a group of warriors striving to rid the earth of demons.  When her mother disappears and she has to get her back, Clary gets the help of these supernatural warriors, and along the way discovers she might be like them.



6. Ender's Game (November 1, 2013): This is a book I read as a young teenager, in junior high, and it is a book that moved me deeply.  I am very excited to see how the filmmakers have turned it into a movie.  By Orson Scott Card, and also the first in a science fiction series, it is the story of Ender, a brilliant young boy, who is recruited to help save the planet and become a military general.  Through it all, Ender struggles with the battle "games" they are playing, interacting with the other children, and the concepts of justice and right vs. wrong. I have not read the other books in the series, but this one was exceptional.



7. Catching Fire (November 22, 2013):  This film is based on the second book in The Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins.  While the first film did a very good job relating the plot of the novel, if not necessarily the theme, it failed, in my opinion, to evoke the same reaction from the watcher as Collins does from a reader of the book.  That being said, the second and third books were even more emotionally evocative, and offered more in the way of presenting a specific theme to the reader.  I am hesitant that the films will be able to pull this off and be as moving as the books are, but I still want to see them try.  A poor execution of a film only disappoints me, but I lose nothing from the experience of the reading of the books. These books should be read consecutively, as the plot builds until the final book, and the full message Collins is attempting to impart is not visible until the final book is finished.  If you have not read the first book, stop reading now and skip to number eight!  This book, specifically, is about the Capitol forcing the two main characters, Peeta and Katniss, to return to the arena in a special edition of the Hunger Games, as there has been some revolting against the Capitol, and it is trying to maintain control of the districts. 

8. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (December 13, 2013): SC and I listened to The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien on a long car trip, and I was very excited to see the first portion of the film when it came out.  That being said, I have still not seen it, as I am not sure how it will work to split up the story into three parts.  The story (as a whole) is the adventure of Bilbo Baggins, a hobbit who is rather comfortable staying at home, but gets dragged into helping some dwarfs get their property back from a dragon.  It is a very entertaining story, but I am just not sure how it will be split out into three movies.



9. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (December 25, 2013): This film is based on a short story by James Thurber from his collection The Thurber Carnival.  It is a collection that has been on my to-read list for a while, and "Secret Life" is the story of a man who has five different daydreams about possibilities of life while he waits on his wife in town at her weekly trip to the beauty parlor.



10. How I Live Now (2013): Another from my long list of to-read books, this is the story of children and teens attempting to survive without adults during a terrorist attack and subsequent war.  It is a young adult novel by Meg Rosoff, and won the Michael L. Printz Award for Young Adult Literature in 2004.



10. A Wrinkle in Time (2013): Ever since I read When You Reach Me, which was based on ideas presented in Madeline L'Engle's A Wrinkle in Time, the latter has been on my to-read list, and specifically, my read-aloud to SC list.  It is a science fiction novel about a young girl who searches to find her scientist father after he goes missing.  It is the winner of the Newbery Award, and the first in a series.  Hopefully the movie will be rated "G" or "PG" and SC and I can both read the story together, and then see the film.


 
The Perks of Being a Wallflower: This film is already out in theaters, and it is one that I really want to see.  I read the book in my early college years and it is one of my absolute favorites.  It is another young adult novel, by Stephen Chbosky, and deals with finding oneself amidst the regularity of life, specifically in the pseudo-world of high school.



Silver Linings Playbook:  This fim is also already out in theaters.  I have already seen this film, but I have not read the book, but after seeing the movie and enjoying it immensely, I think that the book will offer even more.  By Matthew Quick, it is the story of Pat Peoples, and his attempt at a "comeback" after a stint in a mental health institution.  Along the way he tries to win back his ex-wife, handle living at home with his parents, and meets a young widow who has her own host of psychological problems.



So either I am really interested in fantasy/ science fiction books and films, or that is what just so happens to be coming out in 2013.  I think it is a bit more of the latter, though I have really enjoyed some of the fantasy/ sci-fi books and films I have seen lately!  

What movies are you looking forward to in 2013, based on a book or otherwise?  Leave a comment, then check out some more Top Ten Tuesday posts here:



**This post contains affiliate links.  Please read my disclosure statement.

What 2 Read Wednesday: "is the fleeting jolt of meaning that art gives us valuable?" Book Review: The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

"Given the final futility of our struggle, 

is the fleeting jolt of meaning that art gives us valuable? 

Or is the only value in passing the time as comfortably as possible?"

John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

John Green's latest young adult novel, The Fault in Our Stars, is the story of Hazel Grace Lancaster, a sixteen-year-old girl living with thyroid cancer, and Augustus Waters, the boy she meets during a reluctant trip to a support group for children with cancer.  Like others of John Green's young adult novels, though the characters in this book are teenagers, the book is heavy and filled with adult emotions.  Hazel and Augustus develop an intimate and interesting relationship based on their compatibilities, which includes Augustus giving Hazel his "wish" to go to Amsterdam to visit the author of a book about a young girl with cancer.

I feel that I cannot explain anymore about the plot without giving the ending away, and it is imperative to read the book through before encountering the ending.  Green is a masterful relationship craftsman, and his writing evokes an emotional response suitable for the events of the story.  This story is not about a typical teenage romance, though if the main characters did not have cancer, and had not already been made painfully aware of the brevity of life, that is exactly what it might be.  However, they are who they are.  At one point Augustus tells Hazel 

"I am in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you."  

This is a story of star-crossed love that is more real than Romeo and Juliet ever could hope to be, and yet, though the novel ends in truth and reality, I closed the book with a feeling of satisfaction.

I would recommend this book to both mature, older teenagers, as well as adults.  This is a difficult book, due to the subjet matter, but it is worth every moment spent reading it.

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Top Ten Tuesday: "you and I are the light that endures..."

Whoever loved as we did? Let us hunt
for the ancient cinders of a heart that burned
and make our kisses fall one by one,
till that empty flower rises again.

Let us love the love that consumed its fruit and went
down, its image and its power, into the earth:
you and I are the light that endures,
its irrevocable delicate thorn.

Bring to that love, entombed by so much cold time,
by snow and spring, by oblivion and autumn,
the light of a new apple, light

of a freshness opened by a new wound,
like that ancient love that passes in silence
through an eternity of buried mouths.

Love Sonnet XCV, 100 Love Sonnets: Cien Sonetos de Amor
Editorial Losada, Buenos Aires, 1960 (trans. Stephen Tapscott, 1986, p. 201)

This week AC and I are celebrating ten years since we met (we celebrate two anniversaries each year), so I wanted to focus on one memorable thing from each year of our relationship for my Top Ten Tuesday.

1. January 24, 2003: Technically, AC and I met the day before, Thursday, January 23, when we both agreed to go out to dinner with two other mutual friends, but after spending the evening pretty much ignoring them (sorry Y & K!), we went on our first official date the very next day, after setting it up via text.  What can we say, we were cutting edge.  I remember I went to the movie theatre where we were supposed to meet and I was terrified I wouldn't recognize him, even though I had spent so much time with him the night before!

2. 2004: AC and I traveled to Long Beach, California with my parents and brother to visit family, and so the boys could go watch Texas thwart Michigan in the Rose Bowl game.  However, this trip was memorable because we went to Disneyland with the family, and it was cold and rainy, which resulted in AC and I having an absolute blast acting like silly kids because there were so few other people at the park.

3. 2005:  AC and I were married on July 23, 2005, exactly two and a half years after we met.  We were married in a very small ceremony, at AC's parents' home, by the same minister who married them.  I honestly do not know how women handle the stress of a large wedding, because I was completely overwhelmed by a small one.  I remember not getting teary-eyed until AC did, when I was repeating my vows.

4. 2006:  We took our honeymoon (finally) to Whistler, Canada, and it was the first time I ever traveled out of the country.  We absolutely fell in love with Whistler, and it is at the top of our list of dream places to live.

5. 2007: AC and I took a trip to Chicago to see the Bears play in the NFC Championship game.  We also got a dog, whom we named "Rexy," after the worst quarterback to ever play in the SuperBowl.  Being a Green Bay fan, I told AC it was the ultimate act of submission as a wife to go cheer for his team, but I had a blast.

6. 2008: Our beautiful baby girl, SC, was born in May of this year, a whopping 8 lbs. 15 oz.

7. 2009: This year, unfortunately, will be remembered for the week of spring break, when I ended up in the hospital on St. Patrick's Day having to have my gallbladder removed, and while I was recovering, SC developed an ear infection, had a febrile seizure (her first) at Target, and was rushed to a different hospital about forty miles away from the one I was in.  I was able to get checked out, and my father-in-law drove me to the other hospital, where they pronounced SC okay to go home.

8. 2010: This year (and half of 2011, technically) will be remembered for how I worked as a high school English teacher (all four grades), and I missed out on so much of life with AC and SC.  I know now that my circumstances (the school, the economy, etc) made things much more difficult, but I am glad I had the experience because I realized I was missing out, and now I relish the time I get to spend with SC and AC.  

9. 2011: This is the year we spent trying to get back on track from the craziness of having a job that was so demanding.  AC started traveling more, and I got to tag along to San Francisco for the first time.  We spent family time in Southern California, taking SC to Disneyland (again - she has been a few times) and playing at the beach in the winter.  We started going to a new church, and made some great new friends.  We tried to get healthy by eating Paleo (though it is easier for me to do at home than AC to do while he is traveling).  It was a year of living life.

10.  2012: This last year will be remembered for the great family times we had, many around traveling.  We went to visit family in Kansas and Portland, OR.  SC and I tagged along with AC on an amazing trip to Curacao.  I was able to meet up with AC again in San Francisco, and we spent a great "adult" weekend with some friends in Las Vegas.

So, we obviously love to travel, as most of my memories have to do with traveling.  AC and I are great traveling companions, as we typically have similar agendas as to what we want to do and see, and SC has been a great tiny traveler addition to our journeys.

AC, I am so glad that I gave in to Y and met up with her and K for dinner that night.  When I look back, I am awestruck that God planned out what otherwise would be countless coincidences to bring us together, including my decision to go that evening.  I know that He created you for me, and I for you.  I cannot believe that it has been ten years, and I cannot wait for whatever adventures and experiences the next ten years will bring.

What is your favorite memory of the past ten years?  Leave a comment, then check out more Top Ten Tuesday posts here: